"i LOVE black marriage!"

ok, from the title of my post alone, you'll probably figure out that i'm black, or my husband is black, or both of us...if you don't already know.

that's a great thing (to be black and all), and i indeed am black and proud, and nappy and happy and all of that...but i have to admit, i found it a bit odd when many of the congratulations on my marriage were pre or pro ceeded with "i love black marriage!"

ok. well, in this day and age, i personally love ANY genuine, God-led, love lined and committed marriage, black, white or other (these days, even if someone doesn't believe in God but has the other qualities in their marriage i'm happy)...but some people at least only really love marriage when it's between two black people it seems.

when i was engaged to my ex, i never got complaints on our pending marriage, but no one was saying how they couldn't wait for us to tie the knot...and certainly no one ever mentioned the color of our skin as being a huge reason why they loved the idea of us getting married.

my ex isn't black though--he's puerto rican and german. mixed.

technically, my husband isn't black either. he's puerto rican and black. mixed. now, many people don't know that about my husband, so it's no wonder they just assume him to be 100% "black with really good hair."

and they let that be known all day and evening at our wedding reception. and it was funny in a "haha" kind of way, but not in a "guffaw!" kind of way. and after about three hours or so of hearing it, it ceased being funny at all and i found myself wanting to ask, "what does being black have to do with us being married? can't you be happy for us without always reminding us that we're an allegedly 100% black couple (with no 100% black children thank you very much--all of our children are mixed)?"

ok. i know i'm in stone age times with that mentality according to some. i mean, i suppose i understand the sentiment because black marriage is a dying breed in this country and blah blah blah, but i still wanted to ask people anyway, just for the heck of it. but really, i don't believe BLACK marriage is a dying breed, i believe MARRIAGE is a dying breed, and GODLY marriage is on the endangered species list. skin color be damned.

had he (or i) not been black, would many of our guests have still "LOVED" us getting married?

i'm pretty sure a good portion would've, but it still makes me question the other whatever percentage of guests who were there...methinks they wouldn't have been so happy had my husband been any other race except black, and i wonder what would they say if they were to find out that he's not as black as they think he is?

which led me and my wandering mind to other questions...why is "black" marriage such a dying breed these days? are marriages between other same race non-blacks thriving and surviving? why is it such a huge celebration when black people get married to other black people, but not so much so when interracial couples get married? i mean, don't hate on the non-black partner for grabbing up some black love right?

heck, my philosophy is get in where you fit in, regardless of race. if your mate treats you the way you should be treated, never no mind skin color, culture, or height/weight. in this world, finding a good person to marry is a goldmine in and of itself. don't ruin the chance by getting all superpicky (especially if you ain't got that much to offer yourself)...

i'd honestly rather marry outside of my race and have all the great things a good, healthy marriage has to offer versus marrying within my race and being miserable just for the cause of doing my part to "save black marriage". i'm not accusing black marriages of being miserable or upholding interracial/non-black marriages as being the "saviors" of the marriage realm. but what i am saying is, for a minute there, it seemed to me as if some people expect black people to marry black people at all costs, even if it's going to be an obvious failure down the line.

it never dawned on me a single time before, during or after my marriage ceremony that i did something good for the black community by marrying at least halfway within my race (until i was mercilessly reminded of it at our reception). it dawned on me that i did something good for my relationship with God, my family and myself by marrying a good man for the right reasons before, during and after my marriage ceremony. that was all i thought about the whole time, God, my husband, my children, myself, and our families becoming one...race played no role in my special day.

and i can't really say that i would have had it any other way.

ok, so what's the problem?

ok. now i'm not into politics or whatever, but these rethuglicans (as field calls them) are just about getting on my nerves.

tonight they are reporting on a woman who has 6 children and just gave birth to 8 more. they are making it seem as if this woman wasn't in her right mind when she did this, as if there's something wrong with her, and they have the nerve to also say that because of situations like hers (which there aren't many but i digress), invitro fertilization needs to be more "properly monitored". they also said that the clinic that was in charge of the process was irresponsible and basically needed to be shut down for their practices.

now, what i want to know is...why is this suddenly becoming an issue? also, who told the rethugs that she had invitro fertilization? it wasn't confirmed the last i checked. i'm not saying she didn't, but they are reporting these so called "facts" without even knowing the facts on a factual basis.

it wasn't an issue when jon and kate decided to have their eight and turn it into a tv show. this couple has admitted to using their children as a way to earn money and get a free ride through life, and they've basically been living off of freebies since they had them.

there are tons of folk who seem to be pushing out children at the speed of light--read about them here. and i am sure that many of these nice families have children already.

so hmm. what exactly is the problem? this lady has 6 children, and now had 8 more. well obviously 6 plus 8 is 14, but hey...when Jim and Michelle Duggar came to the spotlight with their then 14 children, everyone thought the story was endearing and cute, with Michelle giving them all names that begin with the letter j. and uh, the last time i checked--14 still equals 14. and that woman was still pushing them out like a champion because she just birthed baby number 18 last month.

now we get to this iranian woman who decided to have 14 children and it's this huge "ethical" debate. nevermind the fact that the grandfather is very wealthy, and these people have money and a larger home that the media is not aware of. the government is not caring for these children, and they all are healthy, so what's the problem? i love it how when anyone who is of color does something, it's such an issue...but when white people do the same thing, it's endearing and perfectly acceptable. if you flip through the african american multiple births, you will notice how they recieved way less corporate and donated help than their european counterparts for the same number of children and the same issues and hardships.

but i digress there as well.

the ironic part of this story is that this woman has had seemingly the healthiest multiple pregnancy, labor and delivery ever recorded. not only that, but her heaviest child was a whopping 3 pounds. not a small baby at all to have been sharing space with 7 brothers and sisters. not only that, but they all are breathing on their own.

she is the first octuplet mother in the USA to have all of her babies survive.

so it sounds to me as if she's doing pretty good, not at all like the rethuglicans are saying.

now i'm the last person that wants to make everything into a race issue, as we have enough folk in the world that do that on their own perfectly fine...but really...this just seems to be so black and white it's ridiculous.

of things related and unrelated - 7/1/08

i have a really bad cold, and now i'm getting an earache. i am going to force myself to go to the doctor...it's been literally years since i've had an ear infection.

in an effort to expand my horizons/borders/mindset more, i've decided to add a google newsreel to my blog. that way, when i view it, i can also view current stories. i am doing this because i don't watch tv nor do i ever read the news. one time there was a main water break in the city and i didn't find out until a week after it happened. people went without water for five days--i had NO clue. not good.

advil pm really, REALLY works. i use my coupons of course and get a bottle worth 5.00 for about 0.80, so of COURSE it's worth it to me! but it really works...and if i say that, it's good! because i have an extremely high pain tolerance, so most regular medicines and doses don't work well for me.

adopt a soldier! i adopted one, and he hasn't written me back. it's a little wierd writing and mailing off letters when you aren't sure that they reach their destination. in my mind, i imagine them going on a journey and winding up in some far off land that i'll never get to see. a little bit wierd, but hey. the instructions say to keep writing, even if you don't recieve a respons. and they aren't coming back to me...so they are going somewhere.

blogs on racial justice and racism and american politics really have me questioning some of my prior beliefs. i guess you can say that i grew up pretty sheltered or something because i have yet to experience racism on some of the both subtle and grand scales that i am reading about, despite being a black woman. my mom says that i probably had no clue when it was staring me in the face. at this time, i am not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.

i've decided to get a dyson, and not a kirby. i've also decided to hold off on replacing the carpet in the living room until i see how well (or not well) the dyson works for us. whatever i can do to save money, i'm all for.

lately we've been cooking, and cooking good meals at home. i might be the next emeril.

i am still feeling lil' wayne. i heard his entire CD, and i love it. of course i have no real clue about "hip hop" and what not, i am really commercial in a sense...but i still am snapping my fingers and clicking my heels to the beat (he is my guilty pleasure).

for some odd reason, our pit-bull isn't reacting as well to the ivermectin drops this time around as she usually does. i'm not sure if it's the humidity, or the being in the house so much, or what. but i expected a way better improvement than i've been getting from the medicine.