Wednesday, February 4, 2009

my idol marriages.

throughout my adult life, i've collected stories of the marriages of the couples around me, and picked what i deemed to be the three healthiest of them all. then i made a sort of "marriage collage" of these couples, and i listened to their stories and experiences and studied what i heard to come up with my own solutions for a successful marriage.

i've come to term these marriages in my life "my idol marriages". they aren't perfect marriages by far, and the people in them aren't perfect, but they are what i call perfectly imperfect.

they are really the epitomes of what i want my own marriage to be like.

the three couples that make up my list are:

donald and judith. these two composed an irish american couple who were married for over fifty years. they got married when don was i believe 22, 23ish and judy 18. judy was a coworker at my last job. i loved the stories she told me about their marriage. and whenever don could hear the love behind the teases he had for us about judy. they have four children and judy really loved him so much. last year at this time, don died of brain cancer...he was in his 70's. judy hasn't been the same without him, but she still smiles when she speaks about him.

christina and michael. these two are african american couple who've been married i believe 28 years? they have two grown sons and what stuck out to me the most about the beauty of their marriage was the sense of togetherness between them. christina always told me how she and mike love to party together, and how she never gets into the bed without him. for me, that's a big one, because i don't understand marriages where the husband isn't home when it's bedtime, yet he's not at work. for me--that doesn't fly. but you can see the love these two have for each other, and they have a beautiful home. she told me about some problems they had, but that their solution always was to just take it one day at a time. to not jump to conclusions, and if they didn't know what to do, they didn't do anything at all until they did know what to do. they are still young and in love too...and that's what i love.

mance and martha. these two were my very beloved grandparents. my grandmother outlived my grandfather by over 25 years; he died from lung cancer in the 70's. my grandmother would show us family pictures, and there was grandfather, always hugging her close to his hip. they had 6 children and my mother is the youngest. my mother always recalls her father being very loving but strict with them, meaning when they did something wrong it didn't go unpunished. and she said grandma was even worse than grandpa, but that was because the times were so hard for them that there was very little room for mistakes and errors of any sort, because they could be costly. i know it sounds cheesy, but i can still see the love in their eyes in the pictures they took. my grandfather was very broody but he loved his wife. and she loved her husband. they were married for about fifty years--and they got married when my grandmother was 13, and she had their first son at 14--and he was a whopping 12 pound baby!

well today, i had to add a fourth couple to "my idol marriages", because i am so in love with how they love each other that i want to be the biggest copycat ever.

mr. and mrs. president have my heart in total rapture for them. they are absolute poetry in motion and they make me want to cry sometime. i can see the whole meaning of marriage in those two--everything. from the spiritual to the physical is there with them. i can see God in their marriage, i can see healthy physical, mental and emotional love. their children lack for nothing in the way of parents. they are all blessed, and i am blessed just to even be able to watch them!

so i put together my favorite pictures of them all. i wish i could really have a book of all my favorite marriage, but mentally will have to go...because i can't really get in touch with judy anymore, my grandparents are dead and pictures of them are scarce. christina probably would give up a picture of her family--i will ask.

but here are my favorite pictures of my fourth idol marriage. i love them so much, i wish them all the peace and blessings in the world, and i am keeping my eye on them!

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