the rules.

so, at my daughter's last therapy session (she has been diagnosed as having adhd and odd), i was given ways to combat behavioral problems in our household and ideas on how to use punishment effectively. this was namely to help my daughter control her impulsive, often defiant behaviors, but it also ran over to aid overall in the way my husband and i care for our children).

one of our tasks was to create a list of what we dubbed "the rules", a short list of house rules that everyone, any time they are in the household, must obey at all times. everyone is every one...adults and children, family and friends. if a person cannot obey the rules then there is a consequence, depending on who the person is. if the person is an adult that lives in the home, then the children have a right to remind the adult of the rule(s) they broke. if the person is one of the children, then they lose a privledge for a single day. if the person is a guest in the home, then they will not be allowed back into the home for a specific amount of time.

so, everyone thought about rules they would like to see implemented, and once we did that, we took a vote on what we collectively felt were the best rules, and used them to create our rule list (the great thing about this was the fact that everyone thought about a great rule, so everyone has a rule on the rule list). from there, each child rewrote "the rules" on poster board and decorated it. the finished lists were then posted in each room of the house. this is so "the rules" will always be on display within the house, and can be referred back to if need be.

now, i have to admit that just the idea of the rule list got the girls' attention. once we sat down to discuss "the rules", they knew mommy and daddy were serious. once the lists were finished and hung, i think i heard a few gulps go around. there was definitely a difference in attitude once "the rules" were visible in every room.

just that action modified behaviors.

for about an hour.

obviously, nearly everyone forgot the rules...even me. i got upset and called one of my daughters silly acting, and had to remind myself of the rules. ecobaby started screaming (to which my husband loudly replied "someone turn that baby down!" before he reminded HER at 6 months old, that she was breaking a rule). my oldest daughter started to tease my second daughter, and she retaliated by yelling at her. two more rulebreakers. the only person that made it out of the battle of "the rules" without any wounds was my husband and our third oldest baby, broodybaby.

my consequence was that i had the guilt of namecalling on my mind, our oldest and second oldest girls had to forgo watching a movie before bedtime, and the baby had to go to sleep. my husband smirked at not breaking any rules, and watched the after dinner movie with broodybaby.

the oldest two went upstairs crying, and begging for forgiveness, to which i had the honor of shutting them down asap (another suggestion i was given in therapy is to not entertain pleas, parental no's mean NO and that's final).

it was hard for me NOT to entertain them, which lets me know that i usually entertain them.

but i followed through on it, told them that the decision was FINAL, "the rules" were broken and the movie was taken away from them. i reminded them that tomorrow is another day and they can make better decisions to have better outcomes for events (another suggestion given to me).

i already feel parentally worked in ways i haven't been in a long time. there must be something to what my therapist is saying, because it FEELS like this will be a good thing for us in the long run.

but please don't let that pretty, colorful, short and sweet lil ole rules list fool you. "the rules" are serious contenders in my household, and they have made their presence known, already affecting the lives of every person in this house.

i'm just hoping they dont jump off the paper and beat us into obedience.

breastmilk is the best milk...

...and playtex dropins are the best bottles.

I'm on month three of my "eco frugal baby" experiment, and am pleased to announce that its going quite nicely. at 15 lbs., ecobaby is doing beautifully and eats about 95% mommies milk and 5% similac (emergencies only). her total formula intake since birth has been less than 20oz, and shes eating about 4oz every 2 hours, so i believe even 95% is a conservative number, its probably more like 98% lol.

although ecobaby is a mommies milk baby, shes not a breast baby. she does cuddle against my chest at night for bedtime, but she does not breastfeed. this is mainly due to mastitis in my right breast, which was exacerbated by breastfeeding and relieved by pumping, and poor latch (which undoubtedly caused the mastitis). i'm an "ep" mommy, aka exclusively pumping mommy, and let me tell ya, i can't thank medela enough! either way it goes, so long as ecobaby eats mommies milk, I'm happy.

now, onto the thrills of breastmilk (i can't applaud this stuff enough) and playtex bottles.

i found out through lots of research *insert nerd smiley here*, that breastmilk has many great features, including but not limited to:

it *oils* ecobaby's digestive track, so constipation is not possible

it is safe for 10 hours at room temperature once expressed

it grows as ecobaby grows, so at birth, its perfect for newborns. at 1 year, its perfect for 1 year olds. at 3, its perfect for 3 year olds, etc.

it tastes like mommies diet

it is full of immunitive chemicals

it burns about 500 calories a day while being produced

it releases feel good hormones for mom and ecobaby during expression/feeding

the list goes on. now playtex bottles are the perfect companion to my milk and thus the best bottles (in my opinion of course) because:

they are easy to clean

they are stackable to spacesave in the fridge

the bags are sterile

the bags are also affordable

the bags can be frozen so double as milk storage bags

the bags collapse as ecobaby eats, thus preventing gas (and possibly colic)

the bottles are pretty, and affordable as a whole.

now, i assure you neither lalecheleague or playtex are endorsing me for this blog entry (although it would be nice). they don't need to, the proof is in the pudding. and in ecobaby's beautiful smile.

maybe baby?

well, since this is the year of surprises (ended one relationship, got into another one, got married, etc. etc.)...i guess it won't be the wrong time to let another cat out of the bag...

i'm pregnant!

and not only that...but i'm like beyond pregnant. so far along i'm almost due. next month to be exact (stay tuned for an interesting story and pictures on how i'm preparing for her arrival).

no, this wasn't a case of "i didn't know i was pregnant..." i truly did know i was pregnant. from the very first weeks actually. i just decided not to tell anyone for various reasons, but mainly to keep my own stress level down to a minimum as much as humanly possible.

now onto the really fun part...

it's another girl! so far we have a name picked for her, kinda. actually we do, and while some people are still getting used to it (including my husband), i love it because it means, "the Lord has heard me"...and answered me.

i have to admit, He's also straightened out alot of the mess i've been in the last 12 months. and i'm happy about that because i want to bring home our newest addition with as much peace and joy as i have inside of me. i finally feel like i'm where i not only should be, but where i want to be after a long time of being confused and unsure of myself.

and that is a huge relief, because i am really getting excited over the fact that in a few short weeks, i'll be mom to not three, but four beautiful little girls. :0)

telling children some of the truths about life.

well of course, telling children the truth about life is a conversation that every parent should take seriously and should take careful consideration about before actually doing it. and one thing i've noticed about the conversation is that, although it is inevitable, it's almost certainly easier when you consult with God about it before you actually do it. another thing i've noticed is that, when your heart is right and the truth is in it, the words flow more easily than you can imagine, almost like it's not even you speaking.

and this is great because sometimes the conversation comes up without you really planning or expecting it.

today my oldest daughter had to be told repeatedly to clean her room. and when i was speaking to her about it, the conversation took a decidedly abrupt twist.

now it could be that i'm feeling especially blessed today after church, or that i'm simply a sensitive to the world around me type sould, but whatever the case may be, the conversation turned into a discussion on the truth about life. and i am happy that we had it.

some basic truths about life that i shared with my daughter are:

we get older every day, and we cannot regain lost time, so we must make the best of what we have

without the proper amount of education, be it formal or informal, we are doomed to live a difficult life full of ignorance and missed opportunity

even with education,l formal or informal, life is still difficult

growing up is difficult, especially during the tween and teen years (which she is entering)

peer pressure is real, and she will need to make important decisions about her friends

there are people in the world who are worse off than you are on your most worse off day

there are some people who mean you well and some people who mean you ill

you cannot let the people who mean you ill prevent you from accepting the good from poeople who mean you well

some personal truths that i shared with my daughter are (based on what i want to instill in her):

God loves each human being on this earth, even those who don't behave in the best ways

God expects us to love each other the way we love Him

God expects her to do, be and show her very best self

it is our obligation to love ourselves, each other and our planet

a woman of strength is one who is smart, generous and orderly, among other things

it is her responsibility to take care of and appreciate what she gets, regardless of the difficulty or ease it took to get it

times are becoming increasingly difficult, and the world is going through many changes

she must use what she knows in her mind to help her navigate this life

she is beautiful, smart and has the same rights as anyone else

having a right to do something does not neccessarily mean it should be done

i suppose i could go on, but some things were private mommy/daughter things that i don't have to list, as every mommy/daughter team does or will know soon enough exactly what i'm talking about (sorry daddies hehe--although many daddies do know anyway i'm sure).

the most amazing thing to me about the conversation is how easily the words flowed for me. when i was a younger parent rearing my girls i used to have small panic attacks about how i would explain certain things to them, or discuss certain topics, and to be quite honest at one point i decided that i would get others to *handle* these important parental matters for me. but as i matured more and watched them grow i realized that it was my responsibility to discuss these matters with my children because they are my children and no one else's, and what i say to them more than likely will shape the rest of their lives. i also realized that God would provide me with the voice i needed to share with them what needed to be shared, and i wouldn't be embarassed, at a loss for words, or confused. how did i know this? i could feel it inside myself, budding like a flower. i would be hit with the urge to discuss certain topics with her, or i would say to myself, "i know exactly what i'm going to tell her when she asks me this or that". it seemed like i was almost welcoming the opportunity to talk to her about life,and i was becoming excited about it! this is how i know i was changing and the voice i needed to talk to my daughter was forming within me.

every single question my oldest daughter has asked me about life thus far has been met with a sure answer from me. i haven't been afraid to share with her the truths about various things, death, friends, marriage, hurt...and the biggest obstacle for me...SEX! it never ceases to amaze me how my heart didn't jump out of my chest a single time in all of the conversations we've had, how well my words were received, and how easy it was for me to share with her my heart's desires for her. this is how i know i wasn't alone when talking to my daughter about these things.

i have never been adept at verbal communication. when i was a little girl i used to share my emotions and opinions by writing letters because it was 100% easier, an opinion that i still hold to this day. so to be able to share with her verbally and do it so fully and openly and clearly is actually a first for me as well.

i never thought i'd be thankful to God for allowing me the opportunity to share with my daughter the way my mother shared with me, but i am. i am thankful to give her these bricks for her use, and it is my prayer that with God's help she lays them in the path He wants her to follow.

i am honored to be the one He chose to hand them to her.

my baby is growing up.

just three and a half short years ago, i held my newborn baby in my arms, amazed at how much like her daddy she looked, how tiny she was in my arms. i was so proud of her, to have been strong enough to hang in there with mommy during a very difficult pregnancy, one in which i feared for her life on at least three occassions.

now, my tiny baby girl has grown up into a active, rowdy three year old who still looks like her daddy, but has the round nose and eyes of her mommy... ;)

but she's growing up! and to be very honest, i'm not ready for that just yet. not right now...
.

.

.

.

ok, i'm not sure when i'll be ready for it, but i can assure you i'm not ready for it now. but despite my inability to wrap my mind around the fact that everyone grows up and my baby is no exception, she's doing just that.

she's growing up. no amount of typing that phrase out will keep her from growing up, nor will any amount of typing slow the process of her growing up.

how do i know she's growing up? well the fact that she's only three but wears a 5t is one piece of proof that she's growing up. but even more devastating than that...my baby has decided she wants to go to *gulp* school!

that horrid, terrible, six-letter word. school.

the taste it leaves in my mouth is inexplicable, and i assure you, you don't want to taste it either.

yes, my baby has decided that at the ripe old age of three point five years old, she is ready to leave the nest and enter the world of school. just to prove her point, she has demanded (and i gave in) to carrying her lunch around in a lunch box. for the past two days, i've packed up her lunch in her older sister's last year lunch box, and she has proudly and matter of factly told everyone within earshot "im goin' tuh skewl! see?!?!" as she points excitedly towards her dora the explorer metal lunch tin.

i've had to come up with 20 reasons an hour about why she actually isn't in school, but none of them satisfy her for more than 3 minutes. she's demanding to go to school, and i'm running out of reasons why she's not in school.

now she would be in an actual daycare center except that i don't approve of any daycare centers i've seen in my area over the past three years, and i refuse to take my children somewhere i don't approve of. working in that field at my last job really showed me alot of issues the state has not addressed in the way of daycare centers and i just refuse to have my baby in the middle of all that nonsense. she used to go to homecare, but it's gotten expensive, more than i can afford per week, since i lost my job. it used to cost 80.00 per week, now it's 160.00 per week for her old sitter, who is really the only person i trust with her.

so she's stuck home with me for now (not that she appreciates it, she doesn't).

i have been looking steadily for part time work, so if i'm able to find it, i probably will be able to afford to send her back to her sitter. if i don't find work, i am going to go back to school full time and she can go back to her sitter, which she'd love. then she can finally tote around her little dora lunchbox and actually be going to school (in a sense at least).

and i can be soothed somewhat. because she wouldn't be in school per se, just daycare. and because daycare isn't school exactly, only similar to school in certain ways, i can buy at least another two years of having my baby still be my baby.

summer bugs.

we've been fighting a horrible flu bug all month long in my home...and it seems to be either the same or getting worse--never really better.

last night i ran the baby to the ER because she had a high fever and started throwing up. now her fever is still about 102 degrees...i've been giving her motrin and it helps a lot but as soon as it wears off the fever spikes right back up.

the flu has been chasing me too. this is my fifth day of sickness and i haven't been this sick in years. at this point i'm just trying to stay down in the bed and get lots of fluid...

the older two are with my mom, we're trying to keep them from getting sick like this because it's pretty bad. my only reprieve for the kids is that this is the last few days of school so they're in relax mode anyway and don't have schoolwork and clothes to stress (yay for me too OF COURSE).

so i'm just in bed trying to relax and get better. the hubby wrote me ordering it and telling me to hurry up because he "doesnt like it when we're sicky". lol.

neither do we!

sibling rivalry. *sigh*

my daughters are 9, 6 and 2. it seems like the older they get, the more they bicker and fuss. now i make it a point to explain to them that they are all sisters and they need to take care of each other, not argue and fight with each other, but lately this is falling on deaf ears.

the oldest bosses around the two youngest. the middle girl always argues with the oldest. the baby always hits on the middle girl, who in turn breaks out into tears. the oldest tries to stop the youngest, who then comes running to mommy crying.

this is a cycle that may briefly take a different turn of direction, but at the end of the day...it's a cycle that continues.

and i am so exhausted from it. i still repeat to them that they are sisters, they need to help each other and not bicker, but it continues despite my efforts.

my mother says this is normal and will only get worse, especially since they are all girls.

i am not looking forward to it getting any worse.

Leah, Rachel and the slave ship Trouvadore.

i was reading my Bible yesterday because i had to do some research for work...and i decided to use Leah and Rachel in my work.

for anyone that doesn't know about these two awesome yet very human sisters, you can check out their story in Genesis 29-30ish. but as a quick rundown...Leah and Rachel were sisters--Leah the oldest. Jacob (Issacs son, Abrahams grandson) fell in love with Rachel. as they were to be married, Rachel's father switched Rachel with her older sister Leah (the reasons for this could be many--Laban their father was a nasty man. and some say that the tradition was for the oldest to be married first) and Jacob accidentally married Leah. but because he was in love with Rachel, he married her too. now he wound up with two wives.

before i continue, let me interject that God has a funny sense of humor about Himself, and He never does anything for one reason. i was reading this story for my business, but wound up applying it to myself.

so anyway...now Jacob has two wives who were sisters. sibling rivalry is a terror because these two constantly fought for Jacob's love. Jacob, although in love with Rachel, still knew that Leah was his wife. Leah was not very beautiful but she had a good heart and she was in absolute love with Jacob. Rachel was angry and frustrated and unhappy because she had a nasty father who basically ruined her life and she also had to compete for her husband Jacob, whom she loved.

Leah's story is one that we hear of so much today--she became pregnant, not once--but six times--to hope to win her husband's love and affection. and it never worked...because no matter how many children she had by Jacob, he always loved Rachel more.

yanno the saying, "a baby don't keep a man?" well the women of today--those same women who get pregnant in hopes of keeping their man--are the Leah's of today.

but that's not why i read the story, or why i applied it to myself. God has blessed me with a man that i don't have to fight over.

now Leah had the babies, but didn't have Jacob.

Rachel was the exact opposite. Rachel had Jacob, but she was infertile. and that was ruining her life even moreso than fighting over him with Leah was. Rachel believed that Leah was 10x better than she because Leah had Jacob's children, while she could not. Although Rachel had the love of her life and was content in every area, she still was basically a miserable little wench...because she wanted the man and his babies (this is where God taught me a lesson...but i'll get to that in a moment).

Now finally, God allowed Rachel to conceive. She had her son Joseph (who eventually became the ruler of Egypt)...and her words of joy were, "God has taken away my disgrace. May the Lord add to me another son!" so Rachel's thankfulness didn't come from having a healthy child, but "winning" the "war" between her sister and herself. because see, Leah had the babies, but not Jacob. and now Rachel had the baby AND Jacob...so she felt that she was the winner.

to make a long story short...Rachel's happiness didn't come until she had it all. But she was so miserable with her life because she was hurt and angry at her father and her sister that she missed out on her life. instead of enjoying what she was blessed with, Rachel complained her life away. not only that, but she was also a liar and a deciever herself--she let her anger and emotions get the best of her and basically ruin who she was, and that directly lead to her death. Leah remained faithful and loyal despite not having her hearts content...and guess what? Leah lived the longest life, had the most children AND she was buried with Abraham and Sarah. and rumor has it that Jacob eventually began to notice and become affectionate with Leah. Leah worked with what she had and thanked God for it, even if she had to share, even if she got the short end of the stick. Rachel only had two children, died at a young age while delivering the second baby, and was buried on the side of a road...away from her ancestors. she was miserable and unhappy because she didn't have it all. she was in constant competition with her sister (even though a man having multiple wives during this time was normal), always bickering, and at one time she and Jacob weren't on speaking terms because she was so miserable acting.

for a minute there, i was Rachel. instead of being happy with what i have and working with it, i complained and groped. i saw myself in Rachel...having love, having health, having this and that--but still being miserable because of what i don't have. for Rachel it was children and her husband to herself. for me, it's not having money and time to myself. but there are so many things i do have. i need to be grateful like Leah was...take what i have and work with it. because there are so many people that don't have it.

so i thank God for taking me to that story of Rachel and Leah...because i see that i do have alot and it could be worse.

i won't complain. and i feel like a heel for complaining as much as i did. my children, God, my extended family--really didn't deserve it. and i apologize to them.

and as a sidenote--check out this link:

http://www.slaveshiptrouvadore.com/

this is an amazing story. i am big on history and culture in my older age--especially multicultural relationships, slavery and spanish culture. so this is right up my alley. how amazing a find they have...and what a story. enjoy!

partying with chuck e. cheese!

it's been about 5 years since i've gone to chuck e. cheese with the kids--and today we went to celebrate the oldest baby's birthday. my ex'es daughters and their families, the oldest's two friends (brother and sister), my cousin and her son, and my sister and her son were all there. we had the best time ever.

the best part about the day (besides the fact that my baby had fun) was that my family made it there with me despite the weather being HORRIBLE (and i mean it's bad outside). and my kids (all of them hehe) were there with their own families--which made it even better. we had so much fun, and i have alot of pictures. we even got the sketches from chuck e. cheese for a token each--we have like 20 of them!

overall it was a beautiful day. despite the weather being so super crummy, we had fun. i'm happy we went. i got to spend time with my family altogether and it was perfect with just us.

school's a-startin'!

the summer has gone by way too fast (which is bittersweet for me in so many ways) and now school starts officially in just two tiny days. that's also bittersweet for me...it means my girls are growing up and getting even bigger than they were, but it also means that now i get some much needed privacy and space and time to work on the business and my personal health (i've been gym-ing--will blog about that later). it means that the girls get back to their social lives with their friends, and that i can get back business with the things that need to be done.

man oh man...i am so proud of my girls, watching them grow up. and i am charging the camera so of course we can take those first day of school pictures! haha! and i have to go and purchase their lunches (awwwwwwwww). yes yes yes...i am so siked about this.

gee i love my family.

a post 4th walk down memory lane.

well, the holiday is over and i am exhausted still. and i am still at my sister's house--two full hours away from home. it's already 1, if we leave by 3, we'll be home by 5. that's good enough...because i still have to go home, clean up, get some rest for tomorrow--we are driving to see hubby tomorrow...back down this way (he's only about an hour away, depending on how you drive lol).

i enjoyed the holidays, and caught up with an old friend, that used to be the Godparent of my oldest daughter. i say "used to be" because i am not sure if she still is. how do you find out? the reason i say this, is because we were really close when she moved next to me, but when moved away, it became difficult for us to keep in touch. little money to visit, i used to call her phone but she's always been a busy bee and never around to answer...and things just sort of drifted off. but i still love her, and i do miss her. she's my sister's neighbor now, and like i said, it is 2 hours away from me. i would love to move down here when my hubby gets out of prison, but the fact that it takes money to do that, and i am struggling to get my own business down pat--*sigh*. it sounds like only wishful thinking for now. but anyway.

how do you rekindle a relationship with a friend that's "longlost", especially if this friend has a very special position in your children's lives (or at least should)? when my youngest was born, hubby was already a year into his prison sentence and had about 10 months worth of credits built up so 2 years technically almost, so i didn't have him there to help me deliver her. but i had my friend, who at that time, outside of my hubby, was my best friend. SHE saw my baby delivered, SHE caught her, and SHE helped to cut her umbilical cord. how do you top that?

just sitting here, my eyes are a bit watery thinking about it. i do miss my friend. our relationship wasn't perfect, but i do miss her. i am going to search her out for a few minutes before we leave, but for now i am wondering...exactly how do you get that back? should i write her more often (only 42 cents a letter), call her more often, even when she's busy? coming down more often is out of the question, as my van has 212,000 miles on it as is and gas is 4.00 a gallon (gotta love those honda's and hate those middle eastern oil agreements with our political powers), but there has to be a way. should i even pursue becoming her friend again? and what about the Godparent issue? is she still my children's Godparent (and i believe children can have more than one and my youngest has her aunt as her Godparent)?

i am not sure how to tackle this issue. i am going to speak to my hubby about it whenever we get talk time again (which may not be until next week thursday as it is--we are out of phone money for the week), but i would like to ponder it before then.

ok...very bad, but i HAVE heard worse.

now, while the story is crazy and saddening, i think the worst part of the story is the last part. placed into foster care? those poor kids will never be the same...worse off than they were with their dad probably.

Father accused of caging kids in his truck
Man's explanation: He didn't have a baby sitter
AP

POSEN, Ill. - A suburban Chicago man locked his two young daughters in a wire cage hidden in the back of his pickup truck because he didn't have a baby sitter, officials said Thursday.
Ricardo Gonzalez, 35, of Midlothian, was arrested Monday after a woman at a gas station in Posen heard a crying child and spotted him pushing small hands back into a cage, police said.

He had a wire cage behind the front seats of his truck, police said. Black-tinted windows and a large plywood board in the back window concealed it.Gonzalez told police he used the cage because he didn't have a baby sitter. He also said he wanted to control the girls, ages 2 and 5, so they wouldn't run away. Police said the girls did not live in the cage.

Gonzalez will appear in court July 31 on charges of misdemeanor child endangerment. Cook County prosecutors were exploring Thursday whether the charge could be upgraded to a felony.
A telephone listing for Gonzalez could not be found, and it was not clear whether he had an attorney.

The children were turned over to the state child welfare agency and placed in foster care Monday.

Agency spokesman Kendall Marlowe said the department was investigating abuse allegations against the father. It had previously found the mother neglectful and provided unspecified "supportive services" to the family.

mission: complete.

well, today the kids wound up waking up before 11:30, so we went on to the science center. it was super nice and we spent 4.5 hours there, taking it all in. since our passes are free for the entire summer, we'll be going back there again next week, probably tuesdayish or so. they really enjoyed themselves, and imagine the baby's surprise when she saw a fish bigger than her staring her straight in the face! she jumped up and ran to his tank and slapped on it, so excited she could hardly contain herself! the fish, on the other hand, seemed only mildly interested in her, and lazily scooted to the other side of his tank.

off to bed now, tomorrow is the 4th and we have a pool party/crab fest to attend! yay! i'm gonna get good sleep now hehe :)

what you miss out on when you don't get good sleep.

well, the kids and i were supposed to head on out to the science center today, but uh...well...they're still sleeping! and because i wanted to catch up on my home-based business idea...i am sort of wanting them to stay sleeping. i told them that if they weren't in the bed by a certain time last night, and didn't wake up early, that i was NOT waking them up. well instead of going to bed, they wanted to play alllllllll night long until i had to MAKE them go to bed...hence it being a quarter to eleven and they are still KNOCKED out!

well i am going to dry some laundry, and if they wake up before twelve thirty, we'll slide in 4 hours of science center experience. if not...we can always go on monday, because tomorrow is one of my very favorite holidays--the fourth of july! yay!

the best thing about this trip is that it's free! we get free passes for the entire summer from the science center, so admission for up to twelve of us is free everyday except for special events. we WILL be making good use of these passes--frugal momming at her best!

a new take on circumcision (pt. 2).

after reading a comment posted in my blog from a man who is against circumcision, i decided to do some research (as always)...and this is what i have found to be the most ACCURATE, UNBIASED research from the federal government, not from yay or naysayers either way...and i am going to follow this. it was stated in the comment that 97% of Christians are not circumcised...i have not found proof for or against that data, but it doesn't sound accurate to me. in another blog i also read that only 15% of men in the world are now circumcised. i also find that hard to believe. so...this is what the federal government has to say about it:

"Circumcision is the surgical removal of foreskin from the penis of an infant boy. The operation is usually performed for cultural, religious, or cosmetic reasons rather than for medical reasons. Some organizations, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, maintain there is insufficient evidence that routine circumcision is medically necessary. However, there is research suggesting that some health benefits may be gained, including a slightly decreased risk of developing penile cancer, a lower chance of urinary tract infections in newborns, and a potentially lessened risk of HIV transmission.
AHRQ's new report is an analysis of hospital-based circumcisions in 2005. Among its findings:

-- In the West, only 31 percent of newborn boys were circumcised in hospitals in 2005. That compares with 75 percent in the Midwest, 65 percent in the Northeast, and 56 percent in the South. Factors influencing circumcision rates may include insurance coverage and immigration from Latin America and other areas where circumcision is less common.

-- Nationwide, about 56 percent of newborn boys—1.2 million infants—were circumcised. The national rate has remained relatively stable for a decade. It peaked at 65 percent in 1980.

--About 60 percent of circumcisions were billed to private insurance, 31 percent were billed to Medicaid, nearly 3 percent were charged to other public programs, and about 4 percent were uninsured. " ~ Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (a division of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)

now, i am all for every parent making their own decision about the matter. just thought that i would clear up a few questions for myself. i have read repeatedly that circumcision results in more protection from HIV. it undoubtedly looks better according to many, i read that about 65% of women prefer uncircumcised penises (i know i do...read about women and sexual preference concerning circumcision here), and there is the penile cancer issue. i know that my father had to be circumcised in his mid 60's for medical neccessity. we had to take turns going to his house to make sure that he had help completing certain tasks. this is also a pretty cool article, which gives reasons why circumcision may be a favorable choice in males.

my decision still remains the same for my unborn child, and the reasons for it are still the same. just thought that i would note what i found while looking for ACCURATE information on the subject.

a new take on circumcision.

today i was on one of my favorite sites, gotquestions.org, and i was randomly reading questions and answers, and i came across this:

"Question: "What does the Bible say about circumcision? What is the Christian view of circumcision?"

Answer: There are different issues that are wrapped up in the question of whether males should be circumcised or not. One issue is that of religious teaching: what does the Bible, God’s Word, say? Another issue is: as a matter of health, should males be circumcised?Concerning the first issue, since we are no longer under the Old Testament Law as Christians, circumcision is no longer required. This is brought out in a number of New Testament passages, among which are the following: Acts 15; Galatians 2:1-3; 5:1-11; 6:11-16; 1 Corinthians 7:17-20; Colossians 2:8-12; Philippians 3:1-3. As these passages bring out, being saved from our sins is received through trusting in Christ to save us from our sins, and it is this act of turning from our sin and self-righteousness and turning instead to reliance upon Christ’s finished work on the cross that makes us “circumcised of heart” and that the works of the flesh accomplish nothing.In Acts 16:3, Paul had a missionary helper, Timothy, circumcised so that his being uncircumcised would not be a hindrance to them as they sought to reach out to the unsaved Jews on their missionary journeys. Thus, although the Bible gives Gentile (non-Jewish) believers the liberty of not being circumcised, it was a liberty that Timothy was willing to give up for the sake of reaching out to unsaved Jews. However, as the passages in Galatians bring out, Paul refused to compromise the issue with those who said that one must be circumcised in order to be either saved or sanctified in Christ.There are practical issues involved with circumcision as well. Some parents have their sons circumcised so that they will look like all the other males in their culture. Some parents are concerned that their son would someday be in a locker room and find themselves different from everyone else. In some cultures, though, males are not commonly circumcised. There is also the issue of health. Doctors debate back and forth in regard to whether there are any health benefits to circumcision. Any couple with such concerns should definitely speak with a doctor in regards to this issue." ~gotquestions.org

now, with the circumcision issue, i am all for whatever parents want to do, but i have to admit, i get irked by the "anti circumcising parents" that try to force their beliefs of how cruel and unusual circumcision is to a child down the throat anyone willing to listen (it reminds me of those picketers that line the front of abortion clinics with building size images of mutilated fetuses). in my opinion, it is no more cruel or unusual to circumcise a child than it is to get immunizations, or put an infant to sleep in a room across the house in a cold crib and then paddle back to a warm bed with the comfort and closeness of another, or allow a toddler to scream herself to sleep for days, sometimes weeks straight in an attempt to get her to sleep alone. and at the end of the day, the decision of whether or not to circumcise is as unique as the decision of naming the baby.

with that being said, my husband and i have always decided that if we were to have a son, we would have him circumcised. for me, once again, it was a religious belief that i had never updated myself on, for him, it was a health issue. he decided that he did not want our son to go through the issues with hygeine that he saw the youngsters in his family go through with being uncircumcised, and he also wants our son to "look" like him, and i decided that it would be symbolic of our religion to circumcise our son. when we thought that our youngest was a boy, i thought about us performing a ceremony much like a brit, but more in tune with our religious beliefs (we wouldn't have used a Rabbi or Jewish doctor neccessarily--but would have picked another Christian doctor to perform the circumcision). since we had a daughter, that was unneccessary (but i am still hanging onto that idea as we have decided that we would like to try for a son before our youngest one's fifth birthday). we have still maintained that if we have a son, he will be circumcised, even though i have learned (and will share with him) that it is no longer "neccessary" to circumcise him as a symbol of keeping our covenant with God.

Congratulations, mama's baby!

today my middle baby graduated from kindergarten! i am so proud of her...she graduated with the highest honors in her class. yes, yes, yes...i am the gloating mommy!

of things related and unrelated - 6/12/08

today was a much better day overall than yesterday. it was cooler, my attitude was better, and i was calmer. i thank God for answering my prayer for more patience. today i seemed to be full of it.

what goes around comes around. my sister took me to fredericks of hollywood and brought me 2 bras for 30.00 (they are having a huge sale). i have been eyeing these bras for about three days now but didn't have the money. God is good for small blessings, one of the reasons i love Him so much.

i feel that i need to be sterner on my children. they get away with things they shouldn't. when i questioned my parenting skills however, my hubby was sure to let me know in no uncertain terms that i am not a bad mother.

i am REALLY feeling lil wayne's songs lately. i am not into the whole "hard rap" thing, but he really has my head bopping and my fingers snapping. he's also making me laugh. i am really considering buying his cd. i love everything he's coming out with thus far.

my friend had an accident and crashed her van, which gets us 80 miles round trip to and from visitation using less than 1/4 of a tank of gas (a miracle). just when i think that we have a "set routine" for this prison lifestyle, it changes.

i really cannot afford 20.00 for this chinese food that we ordered. but what the hey. my kids and i deserve a treat every now and then. i hope it is as good as it sounds.

i have to buy diapers, overnight underwear, and carpet cleaner tomorrow. that should run me about 35.00. i also have to buy the dog her medication, which also will run me 35.00. that is 70.00 right there. money goes so quickly, it makes no sense.

i really love donnie mcclurkin. his songs speak right to my heart. i so love him. i thank God for him. he has gotten me through some days where i honestly thought i couldn't go any further.

i am feeling sprint. i got four free ringtones today, just for browsing the site. how cool is that? i downloaded mary j. blige, lil wayne, plies, and rick ross. yay.

i am considering investing 70.00 that i do not have for an entire body girdle that is supposed to help you lose 2 full dress sizes as soon as you put it on. i met a woman today who says they actually work. i wonder if anyone else has had experience with this.

i really do love my life. despite all it's bumps and ups and downs, God is so good to me. thank You Jesus.