Saturday, July 5, 2008

a post 4th walk down memory lane.

well, the holiday is over and i am exhausted still. and i am still at my sister's house--two full hours away from home. it's already 1, if we leave by 3, we'll be home by 5. that's good enough...because i still have to go home, clean up, get some rest for tomorrow--we are driving to see hubby tomorrow...back down this way (he's only about an hour away, depending on how you drive lol).

i enjoyed the holidays, and caught up with an old friend, that used to be the Godparent of my oldest daughter. i say "used to be" because i am not sure if she still is. how do you find out? the reason i say this, is because we were really close when she moved next to me, but when moved away, it became difficult for us to keep in touch. little money to visit, i used to call her phone but she's always been a busy bee and never around to answer...and things just sort of drifted off. but i still love her, and i do miss her. she's my sister's neighbor now, and like i said, it is 2 hours away from me. i would love to move down here when my hubby gets out of prison, but the fact that it takes money to do that, and i am struggling to get my own business down pat--*sigh*. it sounds like only wishful thinking for now. but anyway.

how do you rekindle a relationship with a friend that's "longlost", especially if this friend has a very special position in your children's lives (or at least should)? when my youngest was born, hubby was already a year into his prison sentence and had about 10 months worth of credits built up so 2 years technically almost, so i didn't have him there to help me deliver her. but i had my friend, who at that time, outside of my hubby, was my best friend. SHE saw my baby delivered, SHE caught her, and SHE helped to cut her umbilical cord. how do you top that?

just sitting here, my eyes are a bit watery thinking about it. i do miss my friend. our relationship wasn't perfect, but i do miss her. i am going to search her out for a few minutes before we leave, but for now i am wondering...exactly how do you get that back? should i write her more often (only 42 cents a letter), call her more often, even when she's busy? coming down more often is out of the question, as my van has 212,000 miles on it as is and gas is 4.00 a gallon (gotta love those honda's and hate those middle eastern oil agreements with our political powers), but there has to be a way. should i even pursue becoming her friend again? and what about the Godparent issue? is she still my children's Godparent (and i believe children can have more than one and my youngest has her aunt as her Godparent)?

i am not sure how to tackle this issue. i am going to speak to my hubby about it whenever we get talk time again (which may not be until next week thursday as it is--we are out of phone money for the week), but i would like to ponder it before then.

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